As Olympic fever starts to engulf the UK, I ask myself what would an Olympics for learning and development look like? Here are a few ideas for what fellow trainers and coaches could battle it out competing in:
Public-Sector Hurdles
A gruelling series of red-tape-heavy forms to fill out to work for the few government bodies left buying training.
Pre-course Questionnaire Chase
Trainers run after future delegates to get them to fill in a questionnaire which will take at least 2 minutes to do.
Difficult Delegate Dodge
Annoying delegates throw a series of awkward questions at trainers. Written on throwing stars.
Mobile Marathon
Trainers compete to get a group of delegates to keep their phones off in training. Current record: 4.5 minutes.
Coach Training Sprint
How quickly can you produce a “fully trained” coach to join the unemployed masses on Twitter?
The Job-Title Toss
Trainers compete for the most ludicrously pretentious job titles. “Minervan educational facilitation guru” anyone?
Tick-Boxing
In this event spectator participation is compulsory and trainers win points by keeping people awake teaching inductions and health and safety.
Happy-Sheet Gymnastics
Trainers bend themselves out of shape to please HR manager judges with smiley faced scorecards that in no way reflect ability.
Accounts Javelin and Archery
The closing event where late-paying accounts departments are impaled on a variety of sharp objects…Just my personal Olympic dream.
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Simon Roskrow
Like it. However, as a Decathlon, we might need a tenth sport, so how about these as suggestions for the final one:
Shape-Shifting
Normal training models seem to be triangular or square; the elite compete to create many-sided, multi-dimentional models, with the top score winning.
Blue Peter Badge
Competing to use the maximum possible weight of Post-It notes, sellotape, blu-tack and flipchart paper in a 30 minute session.
Auditory Artistry
A judging panel, as per gymnastics is needed for this one. Who can create the greatest gulf between the mood of delegates entering a room and the music chosen to play on entry.
Must stop now…
Mark
awesome Simon, thanks 🙂