It’s seems that to be a well-known management consultant you need to turn common sense and receieved wisdom on its head…So I thught I’d take that to an extreme and offer some basd business advice… bad bad or bad good business advice…you decide. Maybe I’m joking, maybe I’m not 🙂
Nine Pieces of bad Busines Advice
Think Negativly
What’s the worst that could happen? It will, and then some. Depression is realism.
What’s the worst that could happen? It will, and then some. Depression is realism.
Sack your clients
Bad clients aren’t worth having – fire them and concentrate on the good ones.
The customer is always wrong
Or why would they be asking for your help? You are the expert not them.
Quit
Don’t waste your time, know when to get out. Loosers are people who don’t quit.
Give your most valuble stuff away
Give to get. Give even when you wont get (the universe thinks your hippy interpreattion of karma is stooopid). Help your competitors.
Mix business and pleasure
If you don’t love what you do stop it – you are wasting your life. Love your colleagues….at least platonically if not in a gooey way.
Bully your colleagues, especially your boss
If they’re not doing a good job tell them, it’s not OK. If you’re boss is an arsehole let him/her know. Either he’ll take it on board or sack you. Either way your life improves
Piss Poor Planning Prepares People for Presidency?Learn to cope with pressure and addapt to circumstances by not doing your homework. Like I said in school “Smart kids know that homework is cheating”
Time is Funny
Business is a big game, we’re all going die and loose it all anyway, might as well chuckle in the mean-time
Please take this all with a pinch of crack, it’s just for fun. Have a nice weekend.